Weekend fun for everyone.

Our au pair, Rebeka, sadly (for us) will be leaving in about a month.   She has gotten engaged to a great guy, Alex, and they will start their life together soon.   As a good-bye present to the kids, she wanted to take them with Alex to an amusement park.   I suggested Waterworld--a waterpark in the east bay.  So this Saturday, she and Alex took the kids for a special adventure.

Meanwhile, Jason and I were left with a weekend day at home alone without kids or work--what a treat!  We decided to take advantage of our time and took a long hike in Point Reyes--Alamere Falls--a 8 mile round trip to a waterfall that drops into the ocean.  It had been almost 10 years since we did the hike.  Unfortunately, it has also been "discovered" by social media since then, so it was a lot more crowded than I remembered.   But still really beautiful, with a lot of water running even at the end of september.

The kids returned home shortly after we did, equally jazzed about their day.   Perfect!

Powered by the sun

A few months ago, we decided to invest in solar panels for our roof.  It faces southwest, so has the perfect positioning for harvesting the afternoon heat.   In about eight to ten years, the energy that we generate will have offset the cost of purchasing the panels, so we will be making energy for free.  Meanwhile, each day we can track how many kilowatts that we produce, and give back to the energy grid.  What is really neat is since I drive an electric car, all of my transportation is pretty much sun-powered.   I do worry a lot about global warming, and the environment that we are leaving to the future.    But now, we are doing our part to keep our earth a beautiful place for our children and generations to come.

Half Birthdays

Well it is has been a busy summer.   But we still managed to mark the kids half-birthdays with small celebrations--but I am only getting around to posting them now.

Alaina hit 4.5 this year.  I cant believe it.   Most days, I look at her and wonder what happened to my baby?????   She has developed quite a sense of humor.  She loves telling jokes and rolling her eyes. Whenever we take a pic, she always wants to take one silly one after the "formal" one.   She has really gotten into coloring, and her manual dexterity has improved tremendously--she is writing all of her letters quite well, although she still tends to write her name backwards.

When Ethan hit the big 8.5, I had another "wow, what happened" moment.  Ethan continues to be a happy, loud, and loving kid who is really maturing quickly.   He recently got a new haircut--a schlitzie, as jason calls it, otherwise known as a buzz cut--and it makes him look older.   He continue to love playing sports--I think that baseball is his current favorite--and of course eating.

Life sure flies by.

Summer Harvest

Well, this is the first year we have had a usable backyard in a really long time.  When we planned the yard out, we put in several fruit trees--as well as left room for a veggie garden.

We have finally gotten to taste some of the sweet reward.  Earlier in the summer we had our first fruit--pluots.  The tree produced quite a few, and man were they delicious! The nectarines came next--these were a bit small, and not as flavorful.  I am hoping that is a first year issue.  We will see.  Next will be the figs--they look like they will be ready soon.

In the veggie garden, we have been making good use our of herbs.  I learned the hard way that planting mint was a bad idea--it took over like a weed, and since has mostly been removed (I hope), but the basil, thyme, and oregano are doing well.   We also made a novice mistake planting pumpkins--the plants grew so fast and tried to take over so much of the veggie box--we apparently do not have enough space for pumpkins!  But tomatos are doing great--though I will try different varieties next year--and we would have had cucumbers had Jason not mistaken their vine for a pumpkin and cut it back!

Anyhow, it is kind of fun to have an urban farm and teach the kids how to grow food.  Next year we hope to expand along the hillside and plant some raspberries!

Summer Vacation

This summer, we headed back to our family camp in the Trinity Alps for a week off the grid and away from all electronic devices.  It is funny how we have to pay to unplug.

Anyhow, this year, we were much more prepared for the trip--and in better shape to take on the challenging hikes.  I was particularly impressed with Ethan--he did two big hikes with us, each about 8 miles with almost 2000 feet in elevation gain.  We again travelled with our good family friends the Cortezes, and the kids had a blast playing together.

Here are some pics from the trip:

Now, back to work and reality :(.

In Memoriam

Mom passed away peacefully on the afternoon of June 27.  My dad and I were with her when she died, and it really couldn't have been a better death, all things considered.  As a former hospice nurse, I think she would "approve".  She simply took a deep breath and then just stopped breathing.  

The following few days were a whirlwind, planning for the funeral, which we had on July 3.  A lot of family and friends came to show their support, which was very comforting.  Jason and I put together a slideshow video that chronicled her life.  It really was touching and turned out nicely.  You can watch it here.  Unfortunately, due to copyright laws, I couldn't include all of the songs in the video, but the songs were: In My Life (Beatles), Daydream Believer (Anne Murray) and I Could Never Say Goodbye (Anne Murray).

I spoke at the funeral, as did my dad.  My dad's speech detailed how he met my mom, and how that day was the luckiest of his life.  Surely it was the luckiest of my mom's as well, considering the way he took care of her over the past years.


I want to put our speeches in here, because I believe that they are both so heartfelt.   So here they are:

From my dad:

"Good afternoon, everyone.  I want to thank you all for coming today as we celebrate Trudy's life.  
There are many stories I could tell you about Trudy, but I'll just tell you one about similar choices and fate.

It was the fall of 1973.  Trudy and I had just moved back to the US after living in Europe.  We didn't know each other.  Trudy had been working in a hospice in London, I had been in the army in Germany and we just happened to move back to Wisconsin at about the same time.  In December 1973, we both independently moved to Madison--Trudy to begin work as an instructor at the University of Wisconsin School of Nursing, and I to begin studying for a masters degree at the School of Business. Again independently, we both searched and found a place to rent in one of those big, anonymous high-rise apartment buildings so common near university campuses.  As it turned out, we rented apartments next door to each other.  For months we left in the morning, leaving our apartments at different times, never once meeting.  Then, one morning in April 1974, after about 4 months of being next-door neighbors, as fate would have it, we left the building at the same exact time and finally met.  How cool is that!

I often think of that day in April 1974 and wonder if our paths would have ever crossed had I left my apartment few minutes earlier or later.  Possibly not, as there was a good chance I might not have been living in Madison much longer.  At the time, I wasn't happy in graduate school and thinking of quitting--I had even interviewed for some jobs in other cities and I had a job offer maybe a month later that I probably would have taken had we not been dating.  

I remember soon after we met, that I had all four of my wisdom teeth pulled.  It didn't go so well, and I was quite sick.  Trudy hardly knew me, but good nurse that she was, she helped me recover.  I knew then I couldn't let her get away.  

I've always thought that the day we met was the luckiest day of my life as it was the beginning of a lifelong friendship.  From the beginning we had a bond that remained strong through 42 years of marriage.  We always enjoyed being together and doing things together, raising our family, and traveling the world.  She was always there for me through thick and thin; nobody loved me more.   I am so thankful for the wonderful life we shared.   

Some of you didn't meet Trudy until Alzheimer's disease had already robbed her of her memory and personality.  But those who knew her before she got sick will certainly agree with me when I say she was a funny, kind, thoughtful, and caring person who had one of those smiles that could light up a room.  I loved her, I'll always lover her, and I will miss her dearly."

From me:

"I have had many years to prepare this speech, but I somehow could not bring myself to do it until earlier this week.  Even though I knew the end was coming, I kept procrastinating.  But I can procrastinate no longer, and so here we are. 

I want to thank everyone who came today on such short notice, and a holiday weekend.  Our family is honored by your love and support.

The other day, I was getting my hair cut, and the hairdresser and I were talking about our kids.  She had a son in high school, the same high school where my kids will one day go, and I asked her if she thought that she was doing a good job raising her son.  The hairdresser’s response:  I will let you know in 10 years. 

The teenage years are tough ones, probably parents most challenging times, as their children try to exert their own independence with poorly developed teenage judgement.   

But teenagers become adults, grow up and usually turn around.  And, as adults, children often learn to appreciate their parents: the wisdom, and guidance that they provided, and parents and children can often cultivate a meaningful friendship. This, of course is what my hairdresser was referring to, and I am sad that my mom never saw her “finished product”.  Jeff was only 17 when mom was diagnosed; I was only 22, we were both emerging from adolescence. I think that both of us really have struggled with that.

What I do remember of my mom before she was sick has, unfortunately, faded with time.   But I do remember her as a fierce advocate for her children. She raised us to work hard, do the right thing, and never eat raw cookie dough because we might get salmonella.  I follow many of her examples when raising my own children. Just ask my kids if they get to eat raw cookie dough when we are baking in our house! 

In that way, she lives on in me.

This disease has caused so much sadness.  I am heartbroken that it has slowly robbed me of my mother.  Prevented her from the retirement that she and my dad always dreamed of, kept her from celebrating her children’s wedding days, getting to know our spouses, holding her grandchildren in her arms, seeing her children love their own children in a way that she loves us.  It really is unfair.  But then again, she always used to tell me: Life is unfair.  (Which is another thing I always tell my children, by the way).

So, these past 16 years have been a trial.  And for no one more so than my dad.  Everyone here knows this, but my dad has been nothing short of an incredible inspiration.  What he has done in caring for my mom has been a testament to his love and compassion for his wife.  Think of this: for over a third of his marriage, his wife was sick.

My dad’s devotion was unwavering, built on the solid foundation of his love.   What an incredible example he has set for me.   If nothing else, this journey has taught me so much about the meaning of true love, and for that I am grateful.

And so, I close this tribute to my mom with a short poem.  I am not much of a poet, but mom always loved writing corny poems, so I think that she would appreciate it:

Mom you are no longer with us

Oh, how we will miss you so

A long illness has consumed you

How unfair don’t we all know

All of our hearts have been broken

By your steady, slow decline

So many of life’s milestones you missed

Wish you could have known these children of mine

I tell you one thing you did right

Way back in ‘75

You found the best partner-dad

Whose heartfelt love helped keep you alive

Always I’ll carry with me

Your life before you were sick

Memories of childhood trips, and baking, and laughter

Your love of spinach deep dish pizza, and outings shopping-what a kick

How I wish I could have known you

As an adult and sought your advice

Still I give thanks for all you taught me

Carry it with me each day of my life

And so, your time with us is over

Your suffering is now done

Let us cherish your life now, gladly

Remember you with each setting sun."

All, I think, really great tributes to the great person my mom once was.  We love you mom, and miss you very much.