Life's Rollercoaster

Well, this was supposed to be a happy post.  And it is, but it is a sad one as well.  As I write this, I am in with my mom, in an inpatient hospice unit at a hospital near my childhood home.

Last week, my dad decided that he was ready for a much deserved break.  I had a week off of work and convinced him to fly out to California for a visit.  It was his first trip out to visit us since 2010, when he came with my mom--her last real trip.

Anyhow, we were thrilled about the visit--he has not seen so much of our lives, including our neighborhood, our home, Ethan's school etc.  And he was in desperate need of the chance to refresh and reenergize.  So, through hospice, he arranged respite care for my mom.


We had a great start to our week, kicking it off with a father's day bbq with Jason's family.  Over the course of several days, we took him to many of our favorite places.  He went swimming in our pool (his first swim in probably 20 years!).   We hiked in the Marin headlands, went to Point Bonita lighthouse, picnicked in Samuel Taylor State Park, visited Land's End.  We also took a day trip down to Santa Cruz, where we went to the boardwalk and even got him on some rides--including the rollercoaster.  At the time I did appreciate how that ride would foreshadow the emotional rollercoaster we are currently on.

During his visit, dad spoke to someone from hospice or respite care every day, and each day, mom seemed to be getting a little bit worse.  Then on Friday, a nurse from the nursing home called, concerned.  We had a hospice nurse visit her, and she arranged for a secondary visit on Saturday morning.  On Saturday morning, that hospice nurse called and offered to transfer mom to an inpatient hospice unit for better nursing care.  My dad agreed.  We decided to rebook his flight for Saturday (he was supposed to leave on Sunday), and I booked a flight along with him.

And so it goes.  Mom is no longer able to eat or drink.  But she looks very comfortable and at peace, so I am glad for that.  This has been a very long journey for her, my dad, and our family, and I think that it is coming to an end.  And although we all have known the end would come, of course these past few days have not been easy.  Even though she is merely a shell of her former self, I will miss her dearly.